Body Image

It’s hard to see yourself for who you really are. I just read a post on Lisa Eirene’s blog, 110 Pounds and Counting, about Body Dysmorphic Disorder. She talks about how even after losing over 100 pounds and maintaining it for over 2 years, she still has moments where she looks in the mirror and thinks she doesn’t look good. Our brain can definitely play tricks with us. For years, I looked in the mirror and denied the changes that were happening with my body as I gained weight. I started packing on the pounds when I was about 10 years old. In middle school, I was the chubby girl. By high school, I weighed around 215. I actually lost the Freshman 15 in college and got below 200 for the first time in years. When I came home from college after my freshman year and moved out on my own, that’s when I really started my upward spiral. Over the course of about 5 years, I gained almost 100 pounds. A combination of eating out for pretty much every single meal, a roaring junk food habit, and becoming self-employed and, thus, glued to my computer really took its toll on my weight.


However, even after gaining that much weight, I never looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh, my gosh. I have gained a ton of weight.” I still felt like I looked okay. Yeah, in my head, I knew I was fat. I just didn’t see it. Even today, I look in the mirror and don’t feel like I look like someone who is 270 pounds. My little fantasy world always comes crashing down when I see a picture of myself.

I was visiting my mom a couple of weeks ago and she was making a picture collage for my 5-year-old niece. I was absolutely horrified at some of the photos of me. I looked like a swelled-up balloon ready to pop. The worst were the ones where my mom would say, “Oh, here’s a good one of you, Lisa.” I couldn’t help but think, “If that’s a good one of me, why do I look so terrible?”

I can’t wait to see some lower numbers on the scale and start noticing some real changes in how I look, but I also am trying to focus on accepting myself for who I am. I realize that I am not my ideal self right now, but I am who I am. Whether I can see it or not when I look in the mirror, this is me.

Weigh-In: Week 12

Well, I guess I haven't said good-bye to the 270s for good quite yet.  I had a gain this week, but I'm not stressing about it.  I struggled this week.  I still have this reward mentality that I am fighting to break myself of.  My brain thinks, Oh, you did so good last week.  You can ease up and be bad for one day this week.  Then that day stretches into most of the week.  Before you know it, it's time for another weigh-in.  Obviously, that's not how it should work.  I'm still getting the hang of this whole healthy lifestyle thing, but I know I will get there this time.  I am NOT giving up.  It's a new week.  There's always time to change, and that's what this week will be about...getting back to exercising and eating healthy food!

How did your week go?

Beginning Weight: 269.6
Week 12 Weight: 271.0

Week 12 Weight Loss: 1.4 pound GAIN

Total Weight Loss: 15.2 pounds

Workouts When You Have Over 100 Pounds to Lose

A couple of days ago, I posted info on how to determine your BMI.  My current BMI is 43.4.  To meet my goal weight of 155, I need to lose another 114 pounds on top of the 17 pounds I have lost already.  I know the only way to do that is with a combination of healthy eating and exercise.  The past couple of weeks, I have really been focusing on moving more.  I had literally gone days in the past moving only enough to get from my bed to the recliner where I do most of my work (hence the extra 130 pounds I've been carrying around). 

When I started working out recently, I realized that I really have no muscle tone whatsoever.  Each and every work-out so far has been a reminder of how sedentary my lifestyle has been.  But I feel myself getting stronger every day.  It feels great.

Here's my problem:  I don't really know how to work out.  I have been walking and riding my exercise bike.  I also just started the first DVD of the Power 90 program (which I am loving, by the way), but I do have to modify some of the moves.  I would love to mix up my work-outs, but I have not been able to find much information on good workouts for extra-large exercisers like myself.  There really needs to be more info out there about that! 

I need something that's low impact but helps to build muscle and endurance.  Does anyone have any tips?

BMI

If you're looking to lose a few pounds but are not sure where to set your goal weight, your BMI is a good place to start.  BMI stands for Body Mass Index and takes your height into account when determining a healthy weight.

A healthy BMI is 18.5 to 25.  Anything over 25 is considered overweight, and anything over 30 is obese.

Calculate your own BMI here.

At 5'6 and 269 pounds currently, my BMI is 43.4.  Yikes!

To get into the "normal" range, I need to get below 155 pounds.  I've lost about 17 pounds so far and have 114 pounds to go. 

Wow.  That's a hard number to look at.  Just knowing that I was more than 130 pounds overweight makes me think, How did this happen?  I know there's no use dwelling on the past.  I need to continue to move forward and take it one day at a time.

Have you calculated your BMI yet?

Weigh-In: Week 11

Oh, my gosh!  I am SO SO excited right now.  My hard work really paid off this week.  I am officially out of the 270s!!  I worked out every single day this week, and my muscles have been begging for mercy.  But I'm not showing them any mercy because I am going to hit it hard this week, too (after a quick recovery break today).  I have been riding my exercise bike, walking, and started the Sculpt 1-2 DVD of Power 90.

How did everyone else's week go?

Beginning Weight: 273.4
Week 11 Weight: 269.6

Week 11 Weight Loss:  3.8 pounds

Total Weight Loss: 16.6 pounds

Recap

I have been cooking lots and lots this week!  I have a couple of recipes I need to share with you guys soon, but I have been SO busy.  I promise I will post them ASAP.  Here's a quick recap of the week so far.

Food:  Yummy (and healthy)!
Exercise:  Every day so far!
Legs: Extremely sore!
Arms: Ridiculously sore!
Weight: Hopefully lower (check back on Saturday)!

Weigh-In: Week 10

I didn't see a huge loss on the scale this week, but I consider this week a victory.  It's usually right around this time that I give up and revert back to my old habits.  I usually make diet and exercise so strictly regimented that I just can't keep going after 2 1/2 months.  This time is different.  I actually feel more committed than ever right now.  I'm already geared up for next week!  I just had to get it through my head that this is going to be a marathon and not a sprint.  Even if it takes two years for me to get to my goal weight, that's okay.  The two years are going to pass whether I'm working toward a better me or not.  I might as well make the best of them.  :)  I hope everyone else is having a great week, too!!

Beginning Weight: 274.4
Week 10 Weight: 273.4

Week 10 Weight Loss: 1 pound

Total Weight Loss: 12.8 pounds

In It To Win It

Last night, I realized something.  I am really doing this.  I am really losing weight, and I actually feel like I CAN do this.  I know it sounds like it's not a big deal...but to me, it's a big deal.  I have failed so many times trying to lose weight and usually end up even bigger than I was before I started.  But not this time.

I feel like I have a completely different mindset this time.  I feel like the food I am eating is healthy but also something I will be happy with even after losing the weight.  No cottage cheese and Egg Beaters for me.  Too diety (if that's a word).

One thing I always, always, always struggle with when trying to lose weight is sugar.  I LOVE sugar!  I can down an entire bag of Oreos and a half-gallon of ice cream in one night.  Sad, but true.  I decided in January when I first started eating healthier, I would have to pretty much cut sugary desserts out for now.  I just can't be trusted with them.

The great news is that after fighting sugar cravings for over a month, they have almost completely disappeared.  No more laying awake at night fantasizing about baking (and eating) a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies all by myself. 

I know I haven't conquered all my demons, and I know I'll be put in situations that will tempt me and test me.  But now I feel like I can control myself.  Let me tell you...that is a GREAT feeling!

Month 2 Progress Picture

I decided to take a new picture to see if I could see any difference now that I am almost 12 pounds down.  I know the difference is not huge, but it's definitely there.

The picture on the left is January 1.  The picture on the right is March 1.  Seeing these pics makes me want to work even harder this month.

Weigh-In: Week 9

I feel like I did a lot of telling myself "No" this week.  I busted my butt for this number, and I'm satisfied with it.  However, yesterday a few little demons started to rise up on me.  I sat here trying to talk myself into giving up, that this mountain is too big and that I will never be able to climb it. 

Some days I feel like I can do anything, and then there are days like yesterday where I feel like I'll never be able to meet my goals, so why even keep trying.  This time, though, I put my foot down.  Instead of giving in, I just told myself, "There will be days like this.  Just get through them and keep going."  And that's what I did.  I just kept going and got a decent loss on the scale this morning! 

How did everyone else's week go?

Beginning Weight: 276.4
Week 9 Weight: 274.4

Week 9 Weight Loss: 2 pounds

Total Weight Loss:  11.8 pounds

The first 10 pounds are officially gone FOR GOOD!!!

Recipe: Spicy Southwestern Chicken Soup

For me, soup is a staple in a healthy diet.  I eat soup for lunch almost every single day.  It's easy to throw together, tastes great, and is a simple way to eat more veggies.  This spicy chicken soup is one of my favorites.  The chicken, black beans, and corn create a perfect balance of protein, fiber, and healthy carbs.  I make this soup anytime I'm feeling low, and it always brightens me up.

FREEZER FRIENDLY:  This soup freezes beautifully.  Divide the soup into individual freezer-safe bowls and pop it in the freezer for a quick meal anytime.  Defrost overnight in the fridge or 4-5 minutes in the microwave.  Then just heat and eat.

Spicy Southwestern Chicken Soup

1 rotisserie chicken, shredded
4 cups chicken broth (32 ounces)
1 1/2 cups Quick Salsa
1 medium onion, chopped
1 cup frozen corn
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can seasoned black beans, drained
1 8 oz. can tomato sauce (Recommended: Hunt's)
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
Juice of half a lime

Combine everything in a large soup pan and simmer 20-30 minutes.  Enjoy!

Yield: 6 servings

Approximate Nutrition Facts Per Serving:
Calories: 217
Fat: 7.6 grams
Saturated Fat: 2.1 grams
Protein: 18 grams
Carbohydrates: 21.9 grams
Fiber: 4.6 grams

Just the Facts: Month 2

Wow!  This month has absolutely flown by.  I had some ups and downs, but I did have an overall loss on the scale this month, so I was excited to see if I had lost any inches.  I haven't noticed a difference in the mirror yet, so these measurements once a month are really helping me to see that, slowly but surely, my body is changing.  I finally started exercising regularly in the last week or so.  I know if I keep that up, I will have a great month of March.  I was happy with my February measurements!  It's so weird to see where the weight is coming off.

Measurements:
Neck:                16          (LOST 1 inch)
Left Arm:           20          (LOST 1 inch)
Right Arm:         20 1/2    (No change)
Bust:                  49          (LOST 3/4 inch)
Upper waist:      45 3/4    (LOST 1 1/2 inches)
Lower waist:      51 1/2    (LOST 1 inch)
Hips:                  50          (LOST 1 1/2 inches)
Left Thigh:          32 1/2    (No change)
Right Thigh:        31 3/4    (LOST 1 1/4 inches)
Left Calf:            17 1/2    (LOST 1/4 inch)
Right Calf:          18          (LOST 1/2 inch)

Month 2 Total Inch Loss: 8 3/4 inches

Total Inch Loss To Date:  13 1/4 inches