6.10.2012

Weight Loss: Take 954

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Japanese Proverb

So if you've followed my blog over the past year and a half, you will know that I am not a very good weight loss blogger considering I haven't lost any weight.  It seems like all I ever do is lose 20 pounds, gain 20 pounds, lose 20 pounds, gain 20 pounds.  I don't know why it's so hard for me to stay consistent and just finally lose this weight. 

I know I'm not the only person to feel hopeless about trying to lose weight.  It's not easy to just completely change your entire lifestyle and know you can never go back.  When food is your friend and what you use to comfort yourself when you're down, it's hard to get rid of that crutch and walk the road alone.

For me, I feel like this is a life or death situation.  I am literally killing myself living like this.  I feel terrible all of the time.  I turn down invitations to do things because I am embarrassed about how I look.  Whenever I'm out in public, I don't enjoy what I'm doing because I'm too busy being self-conscious.

I know I've said this before, but today is the day I am making a change.  I am going to do this.  I don't have a choice.  I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life.  I just have to remember how much I want this when the going gets rough and all I want to do is give up.

I've been overweight my whole life.  The crazy thing is I don't feel like I've ever truly been able to be my real self because of my weight.  I feel like I have the mind of an athlete in a fat person's body.  I absolutely love sports.  A sappy movie can't bring me to tears but a real-life story of an athlete who has overcome so much to live a dream will leave me a sobbing mess.  When I think about the life I want to be leading, I think of an active life.  I want to run, ride my bike, go camping, go kayaking, play tennis.  I want to really live life.

I know I've been missing from the blog world for the past couple of months.  I actually haven't been doing terrible.  I've pretty much maintained my 20-pound weight loss from the beginning of the year.  I just haven't made any new progress.

So here I am again, starting over.  Today I weighed in at 273.8.

Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.
- Winston Churchill

4 comments:

  1. I've been having the same battle.
    I go down a bunch, I gain back a bunch.
    It sucks

    What the problem is, for me, is:
    I DO NOT COMMIT TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE.

    I diet.
    And that's what's wrong.
    I need to live differently.

    Easier said than done.

    Keep trying girl.
    I know I will be!

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    1. Thanks, Kateri. It is really hard to commit knowing that you can never go back. I'm in my comfort zone and I need to create a new comfort zone. We can both get there. ;)

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  2. Hey Lisa - I'm here cheering you on!! The one thing that really helped me was the way I looked at things - I didn't look at it as "I need to lose weight", but instead as "I need to live a healthy and active life, everyday". When you shift the focus to the day-to-day versus the overall goal, it makes everything feel so much more attainable. Live for each second, each good decision, and from that...results will come!

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    Replies
    1. I completely agree with you, Erin, about taking it one day at a time. I can't even think about the big picture or I get way too overwhelmed. I'm going to really focus on doing this!

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